After long hours at work, you walk into your kitchen and pour yourself a glass of red wine.
It’s your way of unwinding and honestly, most doctors would say that this isn’t particularly unhealthy.
But if you’re walking into the kitchen and grabbing the entire bottle because you can’t deal with the stress at work, obnoxious children, a strained relationship, or the uncertainties of our world right now…it’s time to pause and ask yourself if there is something inside that needs to be confronted / connected to, and not avoided.
Chronic avoidance or escapist habits are honestly, a natural part of your human behavior. When we are “threatened” or triggered by something in our environment, our body naturally goes into fight, flight, or freeze.
Fight-flight-freeze isn’t a conscious decision. It’s an automatic reaction that is triggered by a psychological fear. You can’t control it.
So if you’re reaching for the bottle (or the pills, or the food, or over-exercising at the gym, or…name your self-harming habit here), don’t beat yourself up. Give yourself some grace. The first step is simply acknowledging and recognizing your chronic avoidance.
Avoidance ultimately gives yourself permission to escape connection – connection to yourself and connection to everyone around you.
When we avoid facing our stress / anxiety / fears / sadness / trauma with self-harming habits and distractions, we ultimately build space for disconnection. Eventually, you get so disconnected to yourself and others that you can no longer see the other warning signals that your mind, body, and soul are screaming out to you for help and connection. Signs like:
- Your relationships are suffering.
- You feel like nothing is your fault and the world is against you.
- You’re experiencing extreme fatigue and/or insomnia.
- You have mental fog that won’t go away – affecting your productivity.
- You depend on addictive substances like coffee, alcohol, and caffeine just to get through the day.
- You’re gaining weight rapidly.
It’s a habit wheel that is extremely hard to break.
So let’s consider some new habits, shall we?
Habits matter. And they are the basis for confronting your subconscious head-on to rebuild a mindful connection to yourself.
Take time every day to connect to yourself. Learn how in 22 days with my Epic Self-Care program.
Healthy Epic Hugs,