I shared in my last blog a little bit about the Hero’s Journey and how we as humans (and the hero in our own life story) prefer the safe and comfortable status quo of our Ordinary World. We are unwilling to make the hard changes, tend to develop deep personal doubts as to whether or not we are up for the next EPIC challenge ahead, and Refuse the Call to adventure.
And you better believe this most certainly includes doubts and fears over financial stability.
When faced with a job transition for example, have you ever chosen the stable, reliable salary instead of taking a leap of faith and hard work into a passion that you love? So many of us have!
“Money is a very powerful thing, it builds empires and breaks down kingdoms, it allows for dreams to come true and it takes others away, it makes some people happy and others completely miserable. Today the pursuit of money is almost directly linked to the pursuit of happiness, many will argue that money = happiness.”Lifehack.org
Yet many times this mindset leads you on an irreversible path to a life void of true passion and meaning…your Call to Adventure!
Refusing the Call in Favor of Financial Security
My Fit For Service challenge this week is to share a story of when I refused the call in favor of financial security.
And here’s the brutal truth: a large part of me is refusing the call right now for this exact reason. Lack of financial security is putting a large dark cloud over my Call to Adventure and I am scared as shit.
When I finally pushed myself to even face this challenge (because I knew it would be a hard one full of truth bombs), I immediately thought about last September 2019.
It might have been just another ordinary September for you as you slowly walked toward Fall. But for me, September 2019 marks the last time I refused the call to my adventure of having a family.
Nine months into my relationship with Scott, we started to have challenges as a result of our long distance status. I was doing 90% of the travel due to his limited ability to travel, but that was totally fine with me. I loved him and his daughter very much so I made the sacrifice.
But after getting on a plane every 9 days for months…I was burned out.
You see, at the time I was in the last phase of paying off over $38,000 in debt and I only had a few months to go! I was rocking this financial freedom goal all on my own.
When September rolled around and the constant travel was making us both weary, Scott offered to help pay for a place for me to live in California, opening up a middle ground for us to be closer.
I refused this call because I did not want to rely on a man for help with my finances.
And it wasn’t just about the money. Deep down in my heart I wanted to be with him and his daughter more than anything. But I got so rigid in my beliefs that the move forward or the middle ground we needed to leap for was, I thought, a ring on my finger or living part time with him in his home…not an apartment.
I refused the call because the fear of relying on him for financial support triggered fear and denial. That’s the truth.
Facing the Root of My Fears
Now my fears were partially valid. Hear me out.
His last serious partner took advantage of him financially. She never helped him in the 9+ years they were together and he was the sole supporter of not only her, but his beautiful daughter. To this day he is now a single father raising this amazing girl solo and has been for the last 9 years.
Knowing this, my fear translated to denying his offer because I did not want him to feel like this would be a repeat. That I was another woman who was with him for his money or that I needed to depend on him for support even though we weren’t engaged or living together.
Also, I was afraid to let another man help me financially.
I may not have shared this recently with you, but I was married 20 years ago. It didn’t last long and I was very young.
My husband at the time used to tell me that I was nothing, would never amount to anything, and that he would always have to support me. Talk about some verbal wounds getting etched into my heart and mind.
Since that marriage ended I have chosen a lot of paths from a place of, “Oh yeah?! I will show you!” Which translated to being on my own ever since I was 20 years old without any help from the opposite sex.
So when Scott offered to help me with my heart’s desires and dreams (a family of my own), this past relationship crept into my current mindset and played a huge role in making me quickly deny the call to the adventure…the adventure of a family with Scott and his daughter.
I wouldn’t accept his help because, deep down, I wanted Scott to know I loved him and that I could do it on my own.
And that is where I stand today.
Answering the Call with Zero Financial Security
It’s March 2020 and I signed a 6-month lease in San Clemente, CA to live by the ocean, slow down my life, and create space for family, love, and building EpicLuv in a big way to help others around the world.
After Scott and I parted ways romantically in December, I started to realize all of the ways that I blocked love and the love of building my business. I needed to make a huge change.
This time…I answered the call. And made the leap with zero, nilch, nada financial security.
I could easily refuse the call again.
None of my current work provides a secure and steady paycheck.
I have 2 rents, a marketing team that is helping to build EpicLuv, and travel expenses for Fit For Service.
And I’m working my ass off to build sustainable income. And income that contributes to a partnership and helps create a strong family unit.
It’s scary as F*@%K!
So here’s my truth:
- I am worth it. I am worth the love, support and partnership of my dreams.
- I am worth living by the ocean and having a simple, peaceful life!
- I am worth taking the next 6 months to build EpicLuv to a place that impacts thousands of lives and creates financial abundance beyond my wildest dreams.
- I may have an Epic Fail, but how will I ever know if I don’t give it a shot!
Fear doesn’t exist in the call to adventure. It’s time for new beginnings.