Self-love is a lifelong process.
Think about that statement for a moment.
What part of the statement resonates with you the most? Your answer could indicate barriers that are hindering your ability to fully love yourself.
To understand the phrase better, look at the individual terms:
Self-love. We see this phrase throughout social media – but do we really understand what it means? Some people mistake self-love for “selfishness”.
Do you view self-love this way?
Oxford Languages define “self” as “a person’s essential being.”
Meriam-Webster defines “love” as “to like” or “to hold dear.”
When we put these together, we find the term indicates that “self-love” translates to a person liking their essential being and holding it dear.
That sounds reasonable, doesn’t it? Nothing in this definition demands we view ourselves ABOVE others – simply that we like ourselves. So why do we have such a tough time DOING IT?
Process Not Perfection
We struggle because we confuse our “who” with our “do”. We focus on the process – or series of goal-directed steps. If we miss the goal, we have not EARNED the right to receive love. That is why I want to emphasize that self-love is a LIFELONG process. There is no “goal” to reach….no need to “do better.”
You are a spiritual being (your “who”) and whether your actions (your “do”) are perfect or not – you are (repeat after me) WORTHY OF LOVE!
Let me be clear about my own self-love: I do not love myself because I work the process. I work the process because I love myself. See how this completely changes the concept? I am free to embrace myself and my actions without judgement.
I want this same freedom for you!
Embracing Freedom in 2021
You have taken the first two steps to freedom:
· Vowed to develop the right mindset in 2021
o Where your mind leads, your actions will follow.
· Began believing that you MATTER
o When you believe that, your actions will support your well-being.
The next step in the process is to observe your actions. Do not judge the actions, just observe them.
Two “yes/no” questions can help your observation:
1. Is this action consistent with my true self?
2. Is this action supporting my well-being?
You decide whether the answer is yes or no. If either answer is “no” – then as an expression of self-love, you are free to change the action.
Do you criticize yourself for not doing self-love “better” at this stage in life?
Embrace where you are in the process today.
Self-Love & Resilience
Why does self-love matter so much?
Self-love leads to daily habits that help you survive – and thrive – in the midst of hard times. These habits form a foundation of normalcy when nothing else in life feels normal.
Even as COVID-19 continues to impact daily life, you can choose self-care actions that benefit your mind, body, and spirit. You deserve self-love.
Decide today to be your own best friend and love yourself.